First Annual Burglary Day:
A Dispatch From the End of Personal Security
“So, what happened?” “Well... someone broke in and stole a bunch of my stuff.” ----- I ----- Our family dog, a miniature schnauzer named Shimmer, used to sleep in a recliner beside the front door when nobody was home. This may sound sweet, the idea of her waiting as close to the door as possible for her humans to return, but we know that wasn't the case. For one thing, I'm fairly certain she was more immediately concerned with the view out of the nearby window than she was with our return. And then there's also the fact that she was never in said recliner when any of us came home. Because that was against the rules, and she knew it. Shimmer was only allowed on the couches if she was with one of us -- which was indeed often. But rare were the times when you might find her relaxing on the sofa alone, catching up on her soaps. Because she knew the rules (and because she didn't watch soaps). So when her powerful little ears would catch t